Saturday, November 13, 2004
i hate my mum i hate my mum i hate my mum! ARGH! can't she just stop whatever she's doing now? she's becoming a freak! all she knows is going out to enjoy and live a luxurious life. when she comes home, she'll just nag non-stop as if i have elephant ears to listen. she pampers my brother more and i hate her favouritism! the accumulation makes me get all trapped up inside. and i'm so used to the loneliness at home i just hope she doesn't get home everyday.
i hate her showing concern and showering me with love at times. i don't need those now, after isolating me for so long these two years. all i feel is numbness in my heart. i hate her scolding me for doing badly in any tests or exams, but i don't see her praising me when i get good grades. what is this man? i hate her giving me such a tiny bit of freedom. i didn't mix with the wrong company or whatsoever and she thinks that all my friends are bad people. i need a social life k, so what's wrong with having guy friends? argh she's just having an old-fashioned way of thinking and that irks me. why do others have loving mothers that listen to their problems and give advices, and mine just asking stupid questions that irritates me all the time?
i hate it when i like someone and that person merely treats me as his friend. why am i that ill-fated? i'm never lucky at love, and that sucks. no matter what i do, things still remain the same. i hate it when he acts as if nothing has happened and live life normally. i'd rather he tell me off straight in the face that we're not suited for each other than keep me in suspense. i hate it! i hate it when people break their promises.
i hate it when people copy me and act in a way i do. oh please, get a life. i hate it when exams are so near and i can't seem to get anything into my head. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! i hate it when i get too complacent about things and end up falling down again. i hate it when people who are better than me start boasting around or get too humble that they start saying "no lah, i'm very stupid" or "i really never study lah" for goodness sake, it's a fact so face it, saying such things hurt those below you even more.
i hate to see people (as mentioned in jean's blog before) who have multiple friendster accounts. that's just a sign of showing off, and it's extremely stupid. i hate it when i spend birthdays alone. i hate it when people around me joke and make me laugh when i'm sad, why are they all so nice? =( i hate it when the tissue gets used up when i cry. i hate it when my nose block didn't heal after i cry. i hate it when my alarm clock didn't wake me up, making me miss Digimon. (this morning.)
i'm feeling so inferior right now. well, i do have suicidal thoughts at times, but i feel so silly too. sigh.
The day has ended.
22:24